For the Sake of Madness
by Daerunia
Summary: Sometimes, a mother's love can only do so much. Kagone Kiyo takes in a small soul that haunts the living, certain that she can lead the wayward one in the right direction. Between Kagone's gentle heart and the generosity of Captain Rose, surely little Kamin could never go astray, never chose science over emotion, nor madness over matter, gray over black and white.
1. I: Pure Snow and Lies

** For the Sake of Madness**

** Chapter One: Pure Snow and Lies**

**A/N: I've been on a Bleach kick lately and wanted to revive a story I have up on six years ago. Yep. Also, sorry for for horrible formatting, I'm on my phone and have NO INTERNET. I'll fix what I can!**

* * *

"Are you presentable, young lady? Remember that you are going to receive a mission from the Captain himself!"

Kagone Kiyo jumped as the screaming voice was followed by a heavy thud at the door to her barracks. She hesitated in the process of tying her purple oba around her waist to see if the Lieutenant was going to continue shouting or leave her be. After a few seconds of silence, she turned her gentle green eyes back to the mirror and fussed with her red brown waves, contemplating what to do with her hair.

She had passed the exam for a Third Seat promotion quite easily, save for the physical test against her captain. Though he had gone easy on her, his training sword nicked off a chunk of her long, flowing curls. Much to her chagrin Kagone had no choice but to get it cut, though looking at herself now, the tapered bob didn't suit her.

_'I look so much older like this. Like someone's mom. A housewife…'_ Kagone lamented.

With a sigh of defeat and acceptance, she tucked her bangs back with a marigold hairpin and slid open the door. A graying, severe woman was standing there with a furious look on her features.

"Lieutenant Chikane-..." Kagone started to speak, but the older lady grabbed her by the wrist and started to pull her along down the hallway towards the Captain's quarters, fuming the entire way as their sandals tapped against the wooden flooring.

"Honestly, must I be surrounded by such flippant children? Why, when I went to receive your summons from the Captain, that layabout was asleep at his desk! Tetsuzaimon left his school books at his father's house which of course meant that I was the one who had to go and get them. And now here you are, calling yourself Third Seat, when you can't even decide what to wear in the morning! Do you really think that you'll be suited to making rational decisions that benefit the Division?" Her ranting stopped as she slid open the door to the Captain's office. She pulled the younger woman into the center of the room before finally releasing her from an iron grip.

It was vacuous and nearly empty, save for a few boxes and a large mahogany desk in the center of a teal rug. Behind the desk sat an unkept blond man who had fallen asleep with his long chin resting in his palm; at any moment he would topple forward and hit his face on the desk. Of course, with Chikane's grand entrance, he jumped awake before any such misfortune should befall him.

"Wake up, brat!" Chikane snapped, causing him to sit bolt upright with a snort of shock. Lazy amethyst eyes blinked in confusion from one woman to the other. He let out an annoyed, singsong whine as it slowly sank in that Chikane was addressing him.

"Hey, you have to start referring to me more respectfully now…" he quietly protested, pushing shaggy blond curls off of his face.

Chikane ignored him and cleared her throat, cutting her eyes to Kagone. The brunette seemed caught off guard. It took a full moment for her to pick up on the cue that she was supposed to speak.

"Third Seat Kagone Kiyo reporting, Captain Rose!" Kagone said in a haughty, professional tone. Her cheeks flushed pink as Chikane delivered an incredulous side-eye and elbowed her in the hip. "Pardon. Captain Otoribashi, I meant…"

"Don't be silly, just Rose is fine!" He let out an airy, pleasant laugh. "Poor, poor Kagone! Just look what I did to your hair. Ah, I hope you know I really didn't mean to. But that style suits you!"

Kagone tugged at a short lock, stammering as she debated between speaking to him normally or respectfully. "I don't mind it this way," she lied.

"Ahem." Chikane interrupted their small talk. "In speaking of hair, Captain, you look disheveled. The other Captains are not going to take you seriously."

Rose sighed, stretching his arms over his head. "Well, I slept at my desk because of all the paperwork you gave me to do. But who cares? Those other captains already look down upon me anyways. You would think that hazing newbies is something that we left behind when graduating the academy, but apparently it never loses its charm for demons and their ilk."

Kagone cut Chikane a look to see if the older woman realized that he was subtly talking about her, but the Lieutenant didn't seem to react. She bit at the inside of her cheek to suppress a smile.

"Perhaps the other captains would take you more seriously had you appointed your subordinates based on merit and not after hours hobbies." This time Chikane shot Kagone an accusatory look. "I am not quite sure poetry club buddies qualify for all of the other requirements of… higher ranking seats."

"Well, now you're just being mean." He combed through his long, golden curls quickly with his fingers, a look of annoyance finally present on his tired features. "I don't feel like going toe to toe with you in a match of sharp words, Lieutenant Iba. Kagone, dear?"

"Yes?" She stood up straight, feeling her heart pound. This was it; her first mission. And perhaps her last, if she failed.

"There is an unusual intermingling of negative and high-positive reiatsu in a small town near Okinawa, Japan. The higher ups thought that perhaps a Shinigami was battling a Hollow there, but the signal has persisted for well over 24 hours and there is no record of a dispatched Shinigami in the area. Be a dear and investigate, won't you?"

"Of course, sir." She inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. It was only a recon mission after all.

Rose stood up from his desk and began shuffling through paperwork as Chikane moved closer and attempted to brush the wrinkles out of his shihakusho. Once a mother, always a mother.

"Be prepared to engage in battle. Just in case," he added, and Kagone's heart dropped.

"You left the paperwork in your room, Rojuro." Chikane huffed, making her way towards the door. "I'll bring the details. In the meantime, you make yourself presentable for the meeting with Head Captain Yamamoto. And tie your hair back! The other captains will bully you for looking so feminine!"

"Bah, everyone else is growing their hair out! She's the only sort of person I know to bully anyone for their appearance."

Kagone bit at her lip in worry as she watched Chikane leave the room. She felt prepared, and she was confident that she could handle herself in a battle, but the idea of failure weighed heavy on her shoulders.

As if to drive her fear home, a heavy hand squeezed her shoulder. She jumped out of her stupor and turned around, staring up at her captain.

"Please, don't fail." He commanded, his voice hardly above a whisper.

Kagone laughed weakly. "You don't sound very confident, Captain Rose. How am I supposed to feel about that?"

"I promoted you because you are smart, and because you were kind to me before I came here. Perhaps that is a fool's way to lead, but such things are important to me. I implore you not to let me down. Having my authority undermined at every turn is just dreadfully depressing."

Kagone felt the weight of anxiety double but she masked it with another forced laugh. "Well, I certainly can't allow either one of us to look foolish. Focus on your work and leave the rest to me, dear Captain. The morale will be lifted before you can blink." Guilt twinged at her insides; Kagone had a gift for pretty talk, though it so often felt empty.

If Rose knew that she had no confidence behind her words, he did not say so. "Hurrah, hurrah! The crowd goes wild for the radiant Third Division, illustrious marigolds with the hearts of Libra and the iron will of Aries," he cheered with false enthusiasm before letting out an exhausted sigh. His hand dropped from her shoulder as he walked past her, tossing his hair back out of his face. "I shall bring back delightful candies from the First Division's kitchens. Hmm, perhaps some rich little truffles made by ancient crones who wear expensive perfume."

"I see." Kagone smiled at his back, glad that he was back in high spirits. She was quite fond of his foppish way of speaking, though Kagone still didn't know if his dramatic tone was truly in character for him or if it was all an act of sarcasm. Perhaps the fact that he was so difficult to read is what drew her towards him in the first place. He was young, but sometimes his face seemed so very, very old and so very, very wise. She had never seen him angry, and she truly had no idea if he worked hard to be appointed as captain or if the task had fallen into his lap, but she knew one thing for sure: this man had given her a chance and acknowledged her kindness instead of mocking it. And for that, she found herself determined to make him proud.

"If you succeed, I'll bring you ribbon candy stretched by the pristine hands of maidens, with sugar so clear that you can see your reflection in it! And coffee that has been ground on the washboard abs of men who are much younger and much more capable than myself." He turned back and cast her a wry smile. "Those-who-shall-not-be-named, the First Division fogies, have far too much time on their hands, don't you think?"

"I suppose so, sir."

"Pah. Don't call me 'sir,' you silly thing." With that, he left her to her to wallow in her own stress about the upcoming mission.

* * *

Kagone's eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness as she stepped out of the Senkaimon gate. Frigid wind touched the exposed skin of her neck and face, biting and pinching painfully as she fought a scarf out of her bag and wrapped it around herself.

She had anticipated quite a bit of travel to find the source of the signal and had mentally prepared to use that time to scout the area and familiarize herself with the lay of the land, but the little black and red butterfly who served as her guide seemed to have a keener sense of direction than any of the tracking devices that the Seireitei had to offer.

As the cold assaulted her senses, an odor touched her nose, brought to her by the swirling of snowy wind. It was coppery, earthy, and caused the hair on her arms to stand on end; blood.

Beneath a brow creased with concern, green eyes caught the sight of dark droplets in the snow. Her gaze followed them towards an alleyway between two dilapidated barns, and Kagone realized that the field she was standing in must have been a farm at one point. Remnants of a wooden fence poked up here and there through the snow like stark exclamation points.

Her delicate fingers fell onto the hilt of her zanpaku-to as she inched forwards, feeling two separate spiritual pressures, just as reported. One was a larger form and the other was much smaller and weaker, blinking in and out as if the aura were waning.

A harrowing, bestial cry caught her off guard and almost made her cry out in fear. Kagone quickly regained her composure and drew her weapon, peering into the nook between the two buildings.

Two figures lay in the snow, one tiny, black, and resting in a patch of deep maroon. The other was an adult with impossibly long, white hair, though she could not tell if it was a man or a woman. This larger figure let out a loud, wracking sob and Kagone realized with a sudden lurch of her stomach that it was eating the other one.

"Look what they've done to you…" It- no, he- spoke, whimpering in a voice that sounded so broken that Kagone, under normal circumstances, would have felt pity. "My baby… look what they've made me do to you…"

As Kagone watched, the white haired figure bent over and raised the little one's limp arm to his mouth. Kagone, against her will, cried out in disgust, stepping forwards before her eyes had to witness a sight that she would never be able to recover from.

She stood with her zanpaku-to drawn, both hands squeezing tight around the snow-white threading. "Stop that! Please, stop!" Her voice shook with emotion as the male dropped the other ones arm and turned his head towards Kagone. His eyes were bright and beautiful, resting in a face as pale as snow. Only the streaks of blood around his mouth seemed to interrupt the monstrous man's beauty.

"They made me so hungry…" he whimpered to Kagone. He didn't seem to fear her sword nor even truly acknowledge her presence as something to be concerned over.

She cut her eyes to the other crumpled figure. It was a little girl no more than ten with navy colored hair and a traditional kimono. "Get away from that child!" Kagone commanded, finding her voice once more. He was certainly a Hollow, that much was indisputable.

"...Do not come near my baby…" the man warned, pulling himself slowly up to his feet. He clearly didn't appreciate her acknowledgement of the child. "You have done enough. Look at what you've made me do! Look what your kind have caused! I didn't want this!"

_'My kind? Does he mean Shinigami? And what kind of Hollow looks this human_?' She thought, panic flooding her senses.

Kagone took a half step back as she realized that the man had a sword of his own at his hip. Though he staggered as if in a stupor, when he drew his blade, he did it with no hesitation.

She barely had time to raise her sword to block as he charged at her with the intent to kill. Reflex alone saved her from a stab to the gut, and now that she was face to face with the man, she could see rage burning behind the sheet of white hair that masked his face.

"What the hell are you?!" She gasped as she leapt backwards, pushing off of the ground with the intention of putting distance between them. The man's spiritual pressure roared and caused her ears to ring painfully.

'_This is all wrong… this was just supposed to be a recon mission, but this man has more spiritual pressure than my own captain!'_

"If I don't eat, they keep screaming and clawing. Don't you see?!" he hissed, clawing open the clothing over his chest. She saw nothing but a hole there, though he clearly seemed to be tormented by something. The fearsome man started to lunge forward again but was caught by a horrendous coughing fit. He collapsed, retching and sobbing as he choked, his opponent forgotten.

Kagone took that moment to steel herself and steady her pounding heart. This man was unhinged. She had to kill him, quickly, and then send the girl's soul before it became a Hollow as well. That was her mission and her duty. She had to focus on those points and not consider any other factors.

"I pity your soul," she uttered calmly. She brought her left hand to her mouth and used her teeth to pull the delicate glove off of her hand. Quickly, she slashed her palm open against her own sword and gripped the hilt once more, staining the white threading a deep red. Kagone spat her glove out where it blended in with the snow. "Drink, Yunagashi."

The katana changed shape, growing longer and thinner as the hilt curved and wrapped around her upper arm with snakelike tendrils. She winced as the tendrils erupted into spines that punctured her skin, sending rivulets of blood trickling down towards the blade. What had been a single-edged katana a moment ago was now a monstrous looking rapier, one that asked too much of its master in exchange for its power.

"My child…" the man whimpered one final time as he got back up to his feet. He cast one forlorn look back at the little girl. Kagone took that chance to lunge forward with a stab.

She was testing her opponent and half expected him to dodge the incoming attack and open himself up with another wild lunge. He didn't. Kagone's blade slid into his core easily, only resisting once it slowed on what must've been an organ or two. They were nose to nose and she had no means to back off with her weapon buried within him, no way to detach herself from her thirsty shikai. Despite being impaled, the man did not reel or waver.

"They are clawing at me. You will do," hissed the demon, eyes wide with madness. To her horror the man grabbed her throat and brought his hungering mouth closer, fully intending to bite into the soft flesh of her cheek.

"Don't be shy, Yunagashi!" She commanded in a weak yelp, every muscle in her body tensed in anticipation not of the man's bite, but the knowledge that her zanpaku-to spirit's bite would be much, much worse.

"Aaaaagh!" Kagone cried out as the vines around her arm clenched tighter and tore her flesh down to the bone, threatening to break it from the pressure. Her enemy seemed to hesitate. He pulled away from her and delivered a curious look, his expression unreadable. Kagone closed her eyes and turned away, knowing full well what would come next.

Her eyes were spared from the sight of huge needle-like thorns piercing through the man's skin from every possible angle, every pore. It was horrific, and the first time she had seen such a vile attack, she knew she could never see it again. A throaty gurgling erupted from the man's throat as he went limp against her and collapsed onto her with deadweight.

Kagone did not open her eyes until she felt Yunagashi's grip release her arm. Finally, she had the gall to open one eye. Her victim- no, her enemy, she reminded herself- still had that very same look of shock trapped on his features, the only difference being that his skin was now covered with thousands of uniform holes from where her weapon burrowed out from within his being.

This was worse. Much worse than the first time.

With a scream she threw the man off of her and crawled to her feet, squeezing her shredded arm as she struggled to catch her breath.

'_Hes dead. He's dead. The mission is complete. I don't have to think about how he died. He's dead,'_ she repeated to herself to keep her from slipping into hyperventilation. The horrors of her own blade always summoned forth that same image of the first time she had riddled someone with holes.

Nearly five minutes passed in which she tied her sleeve tight around her wounds to stop the bleeding.

"Father Lirillo?" A tiny voice finally mewled. Kagone sucked in a gasp of frigid air and cut her eyes towards the sound in disbelief. The crumpled little girl from before, the one he had been eating, stood over the white-haired man. Giant coral-pink eyes took in the sight of him as her tiny form shook violently.

"Get away from there!" Kagone warned, noting the metal buckle latched to the girl's chest. The soul chain had been eaten away; had she arrived perhaps a day later, she would likely had two Hollows to contend with.

"What happened to Father Lirillo?" The girl asked, turning her giant eyes up to Kagone.

"He turned into a monster. That is what happens when the dead don't… don't go to heaven." With her good arm, Kagone picked up her sword and sheathed it, still panting to regain composure. Her arm ached and every movement sent fire through her nerves. Still, a small price to pay for victory.

"Father Lirillo said there is no heaven," she informed the Shinigami, studying Kagone with an unreadable expression.

"That's not true. There is a place where good people go. It is much nicer than this world."

"Oh." The girl took these words as fact and glanced around her. "...Will Father Lirillo be allowed there?"

Kagone did not have a truthful answer, but she did have one reserved for departed souls. "If he was kind to you, of course he would. Is there anyone in your life whom you loved that went away?"

The girl only tilted her head, ignoring the question. "It's not cold there, is it?"

"It can be cold or warm, but never in a way that hurts."

"What about rain?"

"No, the weather is always lovely."

"Ah." The little one sighed, shaking her head. "I'll stay here. I like the rain."

"You can't stay here," Kagone argued, growing a tad impatient as her wounded arm screamed at her for medical attention.

"But I won't know anyone there. I don't want to be in a place with strangers where it never rains."

"I can take you there, little one. We can be friends and that way you won't be alone. Why don't you tell me your name?"

"Kamin." The child barked, not offering her surname. Kagone doubted she had one. Kamin, as she called herself, bobbed her head from side to side as her small hands idly played with the metal hook on her chest, the one that very soon would break open. "I don't know if I would like to be friends. What if you're mean to me?"

Kagone knelt in front of the girl, placing her good hand on top of her head. "Kamin, was it? If you stay here, you'll become a monster just like that man. You will hurt, and hurt, and nothing will stop that pain. I promise that I will take you to the other side safely. Do you trust me?"

"No." The little girl said brusquely. Kagone opened her mouth to protest, but the little one quickly clarified. "Father Lirillo taught me not to believe strangers. But I will go. I don't want to turn out like-..." she trailed off and looked at the man's corpse again. Kagone quickly pressed the girl's head to her breast to keep her from staring at the gristly sight, but Kamin only peered under her arm, trying to mentally piece the body back together in a way that resembled the person who raised her. "I don't want you to do that to me, too."

"N-no, I won't. I wouldn't. That was-..." Kagone found herself at a loss for words. She shook away the horrid sensation of guilt and placed a hand on the bloodied hilt of her weapon. "Are you ready to go, Kamin?"

"I don't want to forget Father Lirillo." Kamin stated, as if it were an ultimatum.

Kagone, who so easily lied to benefit her captain just hours before, couldn't bring herself to tell the child that she would forget everything.


	2. II: Hunger

**For the Sake of Madness**

**II: Hungry**

* * *

A week had not provided enough hours for Kagone to rid her mind of the sight of the white-haired Hollow riddled with thousands of holes. It had, however, been enough to prove her worth to her captain. He had no way of knowing the toll that the single victory took on her soul, but Kagone supposed it mattered not.

_"Kagone, dear? Would you mind doing this paperwork? I have a meeting soon and there just isn't time."_

_"Of course, Captain."_

She filled every waking moment with job after job in the hopes that exhaustion would help her sleep at night, help her escape the dread of lying in her bed alone with darkness surrounding her. There was something cloying about nighttime. She didn't take a single job that required her to battle, nor did they take place anywhere near that strange, snowy little farm in the World of the Living.

_"Kagone? Be a dear and help Chikane with payroll. I just haven't the time…"_

_"Yes, Captain Rose."_

Shinigami, she knew, purified Hollows. Shinigami did not kill other spirits because their swords cleansed their souls and allowed them to forget the lingering regrets that bound them to the Human World. That was the purpose of a Zanpaku-to, after all. To forget. Of course, Kagone's Zanpaku-to seemed to be an exception. She had only used her shikai twice, but both times…

_"Kagone, my shoulders are killing me.."_

_"Do you want me to rub them?"_

_"Ah, would you?" _

_"That's inappropriate!"_

_"Oh, so youre saying you'll rub my shoulders instead, Chikane?"_

_"I'm your Lieutenant, not your mother!"_

_"Bah. Then why did you even say anything…_"

Whereas a zanpaku-to was granted to a Shinigami after they attained a certain level of understanding with the spirit dwelling within them, a shikai represented a deeper connection between blade and master. As it was written in history, "a sealed zanpaku-to was cooperation with a sword's spirit. An unleashed zanpaku-to represented cooperation with one's own soul; an epiphany into a death god's true nature."

That thought stirred through Kagone's mind every time she had an idle second.

"Ka. Go. Ne?" Rose called his subordinate out of her stupor, snapping his fingers as he enunciated every syllable of her name.

She blinked and found herself staring at her captain's chest. Last she could recall, he had been slouching behind his desk. When had he gotten up? How long had he been talking to her while she stood there in a fog?

A puzzled frown was plastered to his long face. It wasn't like her to be so vacant. "Why are you wearing those dark glasses indoors?"

"Er, I…" She idly touched the frame of the tinted glasses perched on her nose, having forgotten that she wore them. Kagone certainly didn't want her leader to know how very fatigued she was. His abundance of work was keeping her from slipping into despair, after all. The busier she was, the less idle her hands. That meant the less she had to deal with the pangs of panic or the image of the white-haired Hollow.

"Ah, I see! A busy night of drinking, hm? Perhaps you've been spending your free time around Captain Kyoraku." He teased, and though he meant no harm, Kagone took it as seriously as she did everything else.

"I don't-... no!" She denied quickly, shaking her head.

"Ah, you say 'you don't know?' You were so wasted with him that you don't know if you were drinking or not? Oh my. Imagine being so drunk that you went full circle and forgot you were drunk!"

"That isn't what I meant." Kagone grumbled, hands clenched tight at her sides. "I meant to say 'no.' That is all."

His jovial tone seemed to fade to the wind as he realized that she was not keen on his flippant nonsense. To tease was in his nature, if only to rid his subordinates of blind loyalty or robotic obedience. There were times when Kagone understood and caught his glance with a knowing smile, but there were other times when a simple ounce of criticism made her wallow in misery and rebuild a barrier between herself and her peers. How quickly she had changed from that dashing liar who nearly convinced him that she had confidence! Regardless of which mood he caught her in, two things were certain: Kagone was painfully earnest, and she was remarkably easy to read. And... she seemed to think he was an idiot who couldn't tell when she was so blatantly lying. What kind of captain wouldn't know better? "You haven't been sleeping, Kagone?"

Kagone opened her mouth and closed it, feeling a painful knot tie in her stomach. "It's only a spot of amnesia."

Rose tilted his head in confusion before he corrected her. "Er, I think you mean insomnia, dear."

"Right," she blinked from behind her glasses, not even realizing her mistake. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

The corners of his mouth turned up into a small smile, a sympathetic one. "You've forgotten what you just said? My, it may very well be amnesia after all…"

Kagone only stared at him like an idiot, too tired to realize that he was joking. "Pardon, sir?"

"Nevermind!" He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders in a display of defeat. "I have a simple assignment for you today, dear Kagone. A couple of weak Hollows are prowling about in France, causing quite a fuss among the humanfolk. Riesci a gestirlo, amore mio?"

"You want me to… fight them?" She felt her heart thud painfully. Her blood seemed to suddenly be pounding in her ears, deafening her.

Rose offered a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "You'll do fine. After all, you pulled off that first subjugation with aplomb."

"Yes, of course, I wasn't complaining." She lied quickly. "I'll get it done."

"Easy, Kagone!" He called as she turned heel and started to march away. "If you have any concerns you are free to air them. Truthfully I thought you might hesitate."

She paused with her back to him and furrowed her brow in mock confusion. "Concerns? Of course I don't have any concerns. It sounds simple enough." Truthfully, she knew that she would have to battle the forces of darkness again before long. Logically, fighting weak Hollows would be the perfect way to ease back into combat. It wasn't the beasts themselves that scared her, but something else. Some small aspect felt out of control, and despite her anxiety she was desperate to bring that imperfection to a head so that she could cleave it off. What better way than by force?

"Dear Kagone, why don't you carry a training sword with you instead of your zanpaku-to? Sometimes it does the body good to break from the routine of a familiar weapon." Rose offered. He noticed her shoulders stiffen as he seemed to touch a nerve.

She shook her head, tousling her short curls from side to side. "Nonsense, I'll get it done, as promised."

* * *

The truth was that she would not and could not get it done.

Kagone caught sight of a large, four-legged Hollow digging through a discarded purse and froze in her tracks. Her breath caught in her throat. It rose its white face into the air and sniffed, picking up on the scent of a fresh soul: hers. The brown satchel was discarded as it turned and stalked towards her, its old treasure forgotten by its simple, feral mind.

Kagone took a single step back and tried to draw her sword. Now was the time to take back that control, perhaps to cultivate some new technique that didn't involve such disgusting disfiguration of her foes. There was no way that something formed from her spirit could do something so... so revolting. So insulting. She could only imagine a fellow Shinigami seeing the aftermath of a battle like that and looking upon her with frightened eyes. No. No part of Kagone wanted to desecrate the dead. No part of her soul would want to be associated with something so frightening. Never could she even dream of something as disturbing as riddling corpses with thousands of sickening holes like that. She was respectful, she was kind, she was astute, she was-...

Pulling her zanpaku-to free from its sheath proved impossible. Her green eyes filled with panic as she took both hands and tried to ready her weapon once again, but to no avail.

_'You hate me. Hate me!'_ She heard a childlike voice whisper. Though Kagone knew the words came from within her own soul, it felt as if her sword's spirit was right at her shoulder. She could almost feel hot breath on her ear as the quiet voice chanted: _'You hate me! It's not fair! I did what you asked, cowardly woman! You don't want to see me, so I won't let you!'_

"Please. This is dangerous. Please heed me!" She spoke aloud to the sword.

The Hollow lunged. Without a means of attacking, Kagone blocked with her sheathed weapon. Her knees buckled under the weight of the creature as she struggled to keep its snapping jaws at bay. It was weak, that was for sure. Its reiatsu was barely more than a trickle, and yet she felt her own energy ebb away as they fought for ground, force against force.

_'Dont touch me!'_ That same voice shouted. Suddenly, thorns erupted under her palms and dug into her hands. Kagone, caught off guard by the pain, dropped her weapon and ducked as the Hollow reared back to leap again. It sailed over her head and she took this chance to roll forwards and try to run.

_'What's happening?! How did I lose control of everything so quickly?!'_

Her sandals tapped against the cobbled streets as she fled, abandoning both the Hollow and her zanpaku-to. All she could do was run, run.

Blood trickled from her palms from her sword's act of defiance, leaving a faint trail that made it all the more impossible to lose the Hollow in hot pursuit.

She was so focused on running that she couldn't see the smaller, bat-like Hollow watching from a high perch atop a brick bakery. It waited, poised on its haunches. As soon as she was close enough, it dropped down right in her path with a violent flurry of wings. Eerily human-like teeth gnashed in anticipation of the hunter becoming the prey. It was small, but its mask was contorted to look something like a pig's face.

A flying pig. Of course.

"Shit," Kagone panted as she slammed to a halt. She was now utterly defenseless and pincered between two Hollows. Weak, puny Hollows that she could cleave right through under ordinary circumstances.

A binding spell was the Shinigami's only remaining option. Kagone turned on her heels and tried to focus her line of sight on the four-legged Hollow's front limbs. As difficult as it was to block out the sight and sound of the other enemy, she had to fully visualize the effect of the spell if she wanted it to succeed in the slightest. She threw her palms out in front of her as golden energy began to dip and sway between her bleeding fingers. Her shout seemed desperate and panicked. "Bakudo Number Four: Hainawa!"

The Hollow's feet suddenly snapped together as if snatched taut by invisible wire. It unleashed a snarl and flipped, heels over its head, before skidding to a stop right at her feet. Good. It had been debilitated enough to buy her time to bind the other.

She wasn't fast enough. The flying Hollow pushed off of the street with its wings spread wide and crashed into her just as she whipped around to face it next. Three-clawed hind feet tore at her neck and shoulders as it tried to gain a grip around her throat. With no other option, Kagone dug her fingers into the grooves of the Hollows mask in pure desperation. It snapped its drooling jowls inches from her face as claws tore painfully at her skin, and in turn she scratched and punched, praying to gauge an eye out of the ugly demon's skull.

Their battle ceased as a golden flail suddenly crashed into the Hollow's mask, making a horrifying, fleshy crunch on impact. As Kagone lay uselessly on the ground, the crushing weight of the beast's claws released her and it fell over on its right side in a crumpled heap.

Kagone quickly shot upright and was met with a sight that filled her with both exhaustive relief and horrible shame: her captain. She stared at the whip-like weapon in his right hand with wide green eyes.

"Kinshara. I suppose you've never been introduced." His normal melodious tone was deadpan. If he were surprised to find her in such a sorry state, it didn't show on his wan face. He watched as she suddenly gasped with a start and scrambled to rise to her feet and turn around. "The other one is already disposed of," he assured her.

And so it was. Both Hollows were dead, handled in a single motion that had been quicker than her eyes could follow. Within the next few minutes they would depart from their semi-physical form and there would be no evidence of a scuffle saved for any Human World debris that had been caught in the way.

"You saved my life…" Kagone uttered weakly, head bowed in shame. "I'm… I'm so sorry that you had to risk yourself to come help me."

"I am in no danger," he responded, violet eyes narrowed at her submissive gesture. "It is a captain's duty to protect their squad."

"But-..." Kagone opened her mouth to argue, to correct him, but his expression silenced her. He seemed angry when she had expected disappointment. "...What? I've upset you?"

There was a moment of silence in which he seemed to debate between remaining flippant or being forthright. The former was always a safe bet. After all, it was no good for a captain to remain among the World of the Living. A reiatsu of his level would only send more frothing Hollows flocking to the tiny town. "It's nothing. Drawing your own conclusions, hm?" He teased as he pushed his golden curls out of his face. "It's time to go home. Captains aren't supposed to be here for more than a moment or two."

"I have to find my zanpaku-to. It'll be just a moment." She turned to retrace her steps.

"No, you will not." He commanded. His voice made her halt dead in her tracks and turn back to face him. Was this even really her captain at all? Or had she made him so angry that she was finally seeing something other than the foppish, lackadaisical poet?

"Sir?"

"Just leave it, Kagone." His tone was much more gentle than before. "I will retrieve it. You go home." A small, black-winged butterfly flitted past his shoulder and lighted on his sleeve, eager to guide a soul back to the Spirit World. Any soul at all, didn't matter which soul.

"...I've disappointed you." Kagone knew it would do more harm than good to speak her mind, but sometimes her mouth seemed to work faster than her sensibility.

Rose shook his head and let out a sigh, but this time it wasn't heavy with anger. He 'tsk'ed at her playfully. "Now, I didn't say anything like that, did I?"

"Your face said everything." She uttered, her eyes cast downwards to her feet as she stood rigid. "I don't have the vocabulary to express the regret and disgust that I feel. If you choose to demote me, I completely understand."

He felt the overwhelming urge to laugh. "Kagone, that's enough of the theatrics. You're awfully cruel to yourself. I came here to assist you because I was worried about you." His words were meant to comfort, but judging from the weak grunt that escaped her lips, she was mortified.

"Unbelievable! You shouldn't have to concern yourself with me. If I make mistakes or get myself into trouble that's no fault but my own. Others shouldn't have to-..."

A bright white gate in the sky opened behind Kagone. The butterfly had grown impatient and so had Rose, it seemed.

"Kagone, enough." He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face the gate, all but pushing her through it. "Go home. Go rest."

"But my sword-!" Despite her dragging her heels, the bright light of the Senkaimon engulfed her. She could hear the thud of the gate sliding closed behind her as she squeezed her eyes shut. Pitch black filled the space around them. It was cloying, but it was a familiar sensation. Kagone had traveled to and fro many times, but each time she did it with her eyes closed. She did this so that she didn't risk seeing faces of the souls lost in the gate flicker and churn like smoke in the dark.

The familiar chime of a bell sounded and the darkness around her had been replaced with the sight of a wide wheat field. Kagone blinked in the harsh light and looked around her as she attempted to regain her bearings. Far to the north was a great white tower; the Seireitei. She was in a Rukon district, a rural one.

"This isn't home," Kagone whispered to the butterfly in an accusatory tone. It had not a care in the world, of course. She watched as it flew up and away, leaving her to make the long walk home by herself.

Or so she thought. She could feel a powerful knot of spiritual pressure behind her and whipped around to the source. '_A Shinigami,'_ she thought. But it was only a child. A familiar wild-haired child with large, empty-looking coral eyes.

"You're lost, too?" The girl tilted her head to look up at Kagone. The older woman's voice caught in her throat as she anticipated the girl recognizing her, but the child's gaze was more interested in her condition. "You're beat up," she grunted, nodding to Kagone's torn shihakusho.

The Shinigami hadn't spared a moment to wipe the blood off of her face or to straighten her torn clothing after that nasty encounter with the Hollows. Now she busily used her sleeve to wipe her face and dust herself off. She was stunned in disbelief. It was the same girl who had been with the white-haired Hollow, no doubt. _'How did we end up meeting again? There are millions of souls here, so how…?'_

"I'm hungry. Do you have anything to eat?" Her large eyes widened as she seemed to recall something. "My name is Kamin."

"Kamin?" Kagone repeated.

"Kamin," said Kamin patiently. "So do you have anything to eat?"

"I…" Kagone started to shake her head no, but found it impossible. She was spiraling into madness. Before she could find one answer another problem seemed to rear itself. And yet some other part of her wanted to sit and speak with this girl. Of course, a spirit had no means of remembering their past life, but Kagone had been the one to send her here. The least she could do was feed her.


End file.
